Doom Recitation

A bad samaritan averagin above average men
rancid rants havin' ramblin', savages scavengin'
for scraps, perhaps road kill, if that
gift of gab and he flow ill, chrome stiff hat
note for writin' lightnin' tight lines
chiefin' beefin' bein' off deep ends, divine bright shines even
dimes quiet as minds by design, mighty fine
slight rewind, tightly bind, blind lead blind
need mines now, that was this is then
listenin' to sizzlin' officialtons whisperin' him again
metal face spinster playin' with the dirty money
sinister, don't know what he sayin' but the words be funny
Doom - Cellz

So here I am, stuck in traffic this morning, listening to DOOM’s latest album Born Like This. As I contemplate hitting the next exit and going home, DOOM’s flipping these monosyllabic words and rhyming with alliteration and extraordinary rhyme schemes and my brain begins to wander. For some odd reason I begin to imagine myself using DOOM rhymes as a way of punishment for my kids if they were to misbehave…

Premise: Child commits some offense while spending time with the mother
Mrs. Rahdu: You wait til your father gets home!
Some time later..
Mrs. Rahdu: Lil Rahdu has been misbehaving again...
Papa Rahdu: Lil Rahdu, get in Here!
(Lil Rahdu enters)
Papa Rahdu: Your mom told me you’ve been acting up again, so you must be punished
Lil Rahdu: Are you gonna Spank Me or put me in Time Out?
Papa Rahdu: No, you must Learn and Recite DOOM’s Gazillion Ear rhymes until the beat changes at 1:20
Lil Rahdu: Noooo, DOOM’s rhymes are too intricate and complicated (yes, my child will speak that way)
Papa Rahdu: GO!

Annnnd then 10-13 years later you get this. Eh, eh?

Mos Def reciting Doom rhymes